Lets Talk: What a real sugar daddy is and isn't!

Sugar Sisters,

This is a heart to heart about what a real SD is and just how many pretenders are out there.  First of all everyone is new at one time when they first enter the sugar bowl and that includes the men.  They often make as many mistakes as we do. It is so easy to use the word fake and label someone but that is not always the case either.  A perfect example of this is a SD friend of mine who I have known for 7 years.. and yes friend and nothing more.  With is permission I will share this story:  Earlier this year he was corresponding with a Potential and she had posted glamor shots for her pictures.  Nothing wrong with this but when he requested more photographs he got more glamor shots and he assumed that she always looked like that.  They started talking on the phone and due to schedules he spent far more time getting to know her and actually bonded with her on the phone.  When they did meet 3 months later he had difficulty as he did not recognize her at all.  She had difficulty in person of expressing herself and thought that my meeting him for the first time that we would automatically enter an arrangement with her and give her money right then and there.  I know what a generous person he is and he did give her an envelope as a thank you for meeting him .. 500 dollars for a couple hours of just talking in a public place.  She was angry as she felt he should have given her thousands and drama unfolded through emails and phone calls until he changed his email and phone number.

She referred to him as fake and I will be the first to defend him as I know the person and know better.  My point is that sugar dating is not our private bank account!  When you meet a potential they do not owe you anything.  I realize that in this economy many new SB's are turning to sugar dating simply as way to keep a roof over their head or food in their stomach but jumping or pushing someone into an arrangement will quickly get you labeled as fake.  You do not want that label or to be reported as such, there is also an issue of safety and stalking.  If someone rejects you it does not make him fake it just simply means that you do not fit what he is searching for and do not take it personally.  Real Sugar Daddies know why they are in the sugar bowl, they know what they want and take the time to find it.  They invest more than money into their SB, they invest time, understanding, and take the time to get to know them.  They often offer advice to help the SB further herself even offering to mentor them at times.  They know that if you are comfortable with them the arrangement will be beneficial for both of you so they go to great lengths to make you feel comfortable and seldom try to push you into doing anything you do not want to.

Now there are quite a few new SD's out there, they think they understand what the sugar bowl is about.  In the past few months I have ran across a few but one of them I actually told I thought the sugar world was not for him.. yes.. I did that because honesty is important to me.  He was a super nice guy but in reality he was looking for a girlfriend he could help and maybe at some point they would fall into a traditional relationship and get married.  Hey there are true stories of gents doing that and to each their own.  Sugar dating is traditionally about stolen passionate moments,  being pampered and spoiled both ways.  I talked to another newbie/wannabee that I could not get a read on as he was super quiet.. his messages were one short sentence yet he spoke volumes in those short sentences and I made a choice to call him.  I was not disappointed as I found an intelligent well spoken gentleman on the other end of the phone.  I even went to the lengths of inquiring about his budget for a sugar arrangement as he is so new to this I was not sure that he really got it.  In doing so he answered me openly and honestly , and no matter what he has a much clearer understanding.  All of us come to the sugar bowl with different ideals, different value systems and that does not mean our way of thinking is the right way.  What I know is that we learn through mistakes and sometimes those are painful or we get wise and learn through others mistakes. 

One of the mistakes we often make is calling or labeling someone as a fake simply due to what our own perceptions are of the sugar bowl or what we expect.  Our expectations should be realistic, we should understand what drama is and leave the drama at home not bring it into the sugar bowl.  Most sugar arrangements are temporary so you need to know that eventually they will end.  This is why you need to save some of your money for tough moments instead of running out and blowing your wind fall if you have extra.  You need to prepare for it ending as well and concentrate on the fact that he lived up to his agreement for that period of time.  Not call him fake simply because it ends.. and real genuine SD's will often ended a sugar relationship when it gets filled with drama and demands.  They want to feel appreciated and pampered as well, often they feel they are not appreciated in their own homes so when they come to you it should be all about them and showing them how much you really enjoy them for who they are not for the dollars in their pocket.  I will posting a financial 101 page next week as I am still looking for help with that information.  If anyone wants to help please let me know.

Know why you are in the sugar world!

A potential SD ask you why are you in the sugar world.. what would your answer be?
Money, gifts, travel???  or do you have goals that you want to accomplish.  We ask questions of a potential but if they are clearly interested in us they will also ask questions.. entering the sugar world and determining if it is right for you.. it is important to ask your self some questions and know the answers for your self before you get put on the spot.

If you simply answer money it sends a message to the Pot that this is all you care about.  When a SD has so much more to offer than just money.. they are in their position to be generous as they are successful and we can learn from that success.  Many SD's can be mentors, offer their wisdom and experience in many different arenas.  Some will assist with education cost, basic living cost and so much more yet many want to know that the money they are investing in you is going to make your life better to some degree.  Why would they want to do this for you?  They develop an emotion bond or connection on some level to you and they can only do this by getting to know you so they ask questions as well.  Here is a list of questions I have been asked in the past which I can tell you when you ask yourself these questions and know the answer it makes it much easier when they ask you. 

Questions:
How do you know you really want to be a sugar babe?
Do you understand what is involved in the sugar world?
Why do you want to be a sugar baby?
What do you think you have to offer in an arrangement that sets you apart from other babes?
How do you envision a sugar arrangement to work?
How do you plan to use your monthly allowance?
Are there things sexually you are not comfortable doing?
Would you be willing to sign a non disclosure form?

You stated in your profile you are a social drinker, what do you consider a social drinker?
During the talk when we are working out the arrangement I have been asked questions like:
Do you enjoy anal sex?
So you shave or wax your puss?
Will you have an objection to spending the night on our meets?
Do you have a passport?
Can I see your identification before we finalize the agreement?

These are all very valid questions when you have came to an agreement or are working out the details.  And if you are offended by these questions understand what you are entering a mutually beneficial arrangement and many SD's have preferences some like shaven, some like certain types of sex, some just meet for a few hours at a time others like overnights.  Many will take you to exotic places and yes you need a passport.  Some want to know that you have not lied to them and make sure that they at least know your name and birth date are true.  This is why you should be yourself and answer questions honestly and never agree to do anything you are not comfortable with.  I had one SD potential who it got to finalizing an agreement with and he said he never uses condoms so would I have a problem with this.  My answer was simply yes.. you must get checked for disease and std's before you could ever touch me without a condom.. he was offended and we went our separate ways.  Safety in all forms is important to me.. and we should all get tested from time to time to be safe. 

There are more questions they could ask so you need to know why you are in the sugar world, what your limitations are in time constraints, what you are willing to do or not do, and know if you feel you can trust the person before entering an arrangement.