Sugar Sisters,
This is a heart to heart about what a real SD is and just how many pretenders are out there. First of all everyone is new at one time when they first enter the sugar bowl and that includes the men. They often make as many mistakes as we do. It is so easy to use the word fake and label someone but that is not always the case either. A perfect example of this is a SD friend of mine who I have known for 7 years.. and yes friend and nothing more. With is permission I will share this story: Earlier this year he was corresponding with a Potential and she had posted glamor shots for her pictures. Nothing wrong with this but when he requested more photographs he got more glamor shots and he assumed that she always looked like that. They started talking on the phone and due to schedules he spent far more time getting to know her and actually bonded with her on the phone. When they did meet 3 months later he had difficulty as he did not recognize her at all. She had difficulty in person of expressing herself and thought that my meeting him for the first time that we would automatically enter an arrangement with her and give her money right then and there. I know what a generous person he is and he did give her an envelope as a thank you for meeting him .. 500 dollars for a couple hours of just talking in a public place. She was angry as she felt he should have given her thousands and drama unfolded through emails and phone calls until he changed his email and phone number.
She referred to him as fake and I will be the first to defend him as I know the person and know better. My point is that sugar dating is not our private bank account! When you meet a potential they do not owe you anything. I realize that in this economy many new SB's are turning to sugar dating simply as way to keep a roof over their head or food in their stomach but jumping or pushing someone into an arrangement will quickly get you labeled as fake. You do not want that label or to be reported as such, there is also an issue of safety and stalking. If someone rejects you it does not make him fake it just simply means that you do not fit what he is searching for and do not take it personally. Real Sugar Daddies know why they are in the sugar bowl, they know what they want and take the time to find it. They invest more than money into their SB, they invest time, understanding, and take the time to get to know them. They often offer advice to help the SB further herself even offering to mentor them at times. They know that if you are comfortable with them the arrangement will be beneficial for both of you so they go to great lengths to make you feel comfortable and seldom try to push you into doing anything you do not want to.
Now there are quite a few new SD's out there, they think they understand what the sugar bowl is about. In the past few months I have ran across a few but one of them I actually told I thought the sugar world was not for him.. yes.. I did that because honesty is important to me. He was a super nice guy but in reality he was looking for a girlfriend he could help and maybe at some point they would fall into a traditional relationship and get married. Hey there are true stories of gents doing that and to each their own. Sugar dating is traditionally about stolen passionate moments, being pampered and spoiled both ways. I talked to another newbie/wannabee that I could not get a read on as he was super quiet.. his messages were one short sentence yet he spoke volumes in those short sentences and I made a choice to call him. I was not disappointed as I found an intelligent well spoken gentleman on the other end of the phone. I even went to the lengths of inquiring about his budget for a sugar arrangement as he is so new to this I was not sure that he really got it. In doing so he answered me openly and honestly , and no matter what he has a much clearer understanding. All of us come to the sugar bowl with different ideals, different value systems and that does not mean our way of thinking is the right way. What I know is that we learn through mistakes and sometimes those are painful or we get wise and learn through others mistakes.
One of the mistakes we often make is calling or labeling someone as a fake simply due to what our own perceptions are of the sugar bowl or what we expect. Our expectations should be realistic, we should understand what drama is and leave the drama at home not bring it into the sugar bowl. Most sugar arrangements are temporary so you need to know that eventually they will end. This is why you need to save some of your money for tough moments instead of running out and blowing your wind fall if you have extra. You need to prepare for it ending as well and concentrate on the fact that he lived up to his agreement for that period of time. Not call him fake simply because it ends.. and real genuine SD's will often ended a sugar relationship when it gets filled with drama and demands. They want to feel appreciated and pampered as well, often they feel they are not appreciated in their own homes so when they come to you it should be all about them and showing them how much you really enjoy them for who they are not for the dollars in their pocket. I will posting a financial 101 page next week as I am still looking for help with that information. If anyone wants to help please let me know.
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